Brussel Sprouts Predict the Future

Yes, brussel sprouts predict the future. At least, for me they do. Let me explain, as best I can. What you will see below is a letter to my future 30-year-old self. This is an all out attempt to try and put an end to years of terrible decisions. This is a way to jump start the path to amazeballness (yes, that is a word). Due to recent events, I have full faith that 2013′s New Year resolutions were not made in vein. Disregard the fact that the last two weeks I have had what some may call a “candy bar crawl.” There is hope for me yet.

Dear future motivated non-candy eating self,

I know it seems impossible that mere weeks ago you were a much heavier, bad habit ridden, undomesticated, unorganized person. My how you have grown in this small span of time. It is obvious that the next 10 years will be full of positive decisions and achievements. Your house will be organized from top to bottom. Junk closets (yes, closets) what are those???

You no longer just pin things on Pinterest and never look at them again. You actually use those intense cleaning tips. What’s that you say, you spent your free time scrubbing the oven with that homemade oven cleaner? Future self high five!

How do I know about your current motivated state? Well, from past experience I know that the next ten years of your life can be predicted by a recent food epiphany. But to understand this we must first recall a moment from your not so proud past.

You see, long ago in a wonderfully clean, inhabited town called Shippensburg you were a young spry 19-year-old girl. It was on a cold wintery night that your dear friend Matthew Ryan made you a meal that would change the next ten years of your life. He made you a buttery, delicious, artery clogging treat that you had not yet enjoyed in life. He made you macaroni and cheese. Yes, it took you 19 years to realize that this was the greatest dish in the culinary history of the universe. You devoured this meal and your path was formed.

You would live the next 10 years of your life chock full of disgusting decisions. Such as flirting with the foreign guy who worked at the gas station for free fried chicken and cigarettes (totally worked) or going on a jog but taking multiple smoke breaks. Pushing your body to the limits, not athletically.

Do you regret these years? No way, you wouldn’t trade these stories for the world. But, as 30 approaches, do you feel a bit jiggly and constantly sore? Do you constantly go on WebMd and diagnose yourself with AIDS or cancer? Are you praying that your sad damaged body makes it long enough to enjoy seeing your daughter get married and move out of your house so you can fully enjoy retirement? You bet.

Don’t worry, there is hope. If your food fortune past is any indicator, you recently made a decision that will make 30 the best decade of your life. Will it be full of keg stands and wild parties? No stupid. But trust me, you haven’t wanted that for a while. If your Pinterest profile tells you anything it is that you want to eat tons of quinoa, live off the land and do enough yoga that you may one day actually touch your toes.

It was on a cold wintery night that your 29-year-old self made a side dish that blew your mind. Remember? You tried brussel sprouts. Yes, green, healthy brussel sprouts. And they were freaking awesome. Not only were they easy to make, they were delish. The fact that your husband tried them and said “hmmm, they taste like any other vegetable” instead of “this tastes like an asshole” made it an all around win.

So this is why I am writing to a future self that is on the path to be toned, enlightened, well rested, calm and just all around amazing. I know you’ll no longer read those 99 cent sexy time novels on your kindle, or the next twilight-like series. You’ll stop watching all shows on the CW and listen to nothing but NPR. Perez Hilton, what’s that? You will read nothing but Huffington Post and CNN.

Who am I kidding, all that stuff is lame. Keep those reading and television habits along the lines of your 20-year-old self, no one wants a snooty toot lame face know it all. Just eat better, ya know.

Okay, don’t let me or baby girl down. 40 isn’t gonna know how to top you.

Sincerely,
*puts down the ice cream*
Your 29-year-old work in progress self

Flupocalypse Now

As I sit here finally able to enjoy a brewski (it tastes so good when it hits your lips…) I can finally take the time to post and vent about the winter illness that has taken hold of my family like a vengeful poltergeist. I feel like each one of us has had some sort of illness since the holidays. I try everything to prevent it, I gargle airborne like it is some sort of shot and I’m a twenty year old college student, I eat my veggies, I daydream of working out. And yet with all of my preventative measures it still seeps into our household and drives me to deep lengths of insanity.

It’s one thing to get sick when you’re single, to sit in bed and whine about how your body hurts in every way possible, and to sip soup at your leisure. It’s another thing to have a sick child and a job and a house. When my daughter is sick, she does not sleep. She cries for what seems like days on end. This is my daughter’s sick face:

Even with her best friend Teddy Ruxpin she is not amused. My husband is much better in these situations than I am. After two days of no sleep, we finally get my daughter to go to bed when she wakes up crying fifteen minutes later. My husband, the saint, gets up and cuddles her while I lay in bed with a pillow over my face yelling “this is my nightmare.” I know, Mom of the year over here.

When illness hit my husband, I learned first hand how hard single parents have it. I was fighting it off myself. My daughter was finally on the mend while my husband was down for the count, stuck in bed and not able to participate in our daily routine. And there I was, waking up to airborne shooters, getting both my daughter and I out the door. Dropping her off at daycare, while hoping no one at work noticed that I hadn’t washed my hair in the last four days (thank god for my recent discovery of dry shampoo).

Dear winter, I hate you.

It was then that I developed a severe appreciation for the single parent. I don’t know how you guys do it. My husband and I have this thing down to a science now. We are both constantly doing something, one cooks the food, one feeds it to the child, one does the dishes, while one plays games, one gives the bath while one gets the nighttime bottle ready and packs her food for daycare the next day. Then we both crash on the couch somewhere in the neighborhood of 8:00 to fit in maybe an hour of tv until we carry ourselves to bed to try and get 6-7 hours of shuteye.

I can’t complain. Raising a kid is the hardest thing anyone will ever do. Yet, when I come home and my daughter runs to the door and gives me a big hug, there is nothing in the world that compares to that.

She has my heart…

All those BS cliches that parents say are true. And it is also true that one cannot even begin to understand until they have kids. Not to call anyone out, but that’s just the way it is. Unless you have shot a mellon sized person out of your lady parts, or one of your tadpoles created that mellon, you just don’t know. And I can’t blame you, I was once one of those unknowing persons.

My daughter was a complete surprise. It’s not to say we weren’t trying exactly. We had gotten rid of all methods of birth control knowing full well a kid could happen. We were just not expecting it to happen when it did. My husband was the one to make us buy a test at CVS. He swore I was pregnant, and as tacky as it sounds, I thought I was just hungover.

Last photographic evidence of social outing pre-spermination.

And when I peed on that stick and the positive results came back, I did what any normal person in my unprepared circumstance would. I hyperventilated and cried for about 30 minutes. “We’re not ready, I want more time to focus on myself, yada yada yada.” My husband just stared at me and saw what the next 10 months would hold for him. After crying hard for about 30 minutes a switch went off and I immediately became giddy and excited. One may call this bipolar, I call it knocked up.

Yeah, I took three tests. Had to be sure…

And that was it, our life was turned upside down. This little girl changed everything. My TV consists of elmo and the wiggles and my bedtime is now 9:00. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Back to the craptastic flu season… were there flashes of moments recently where I wished I was on an island frolicking with an umbrella styled drink in my hand, sure. Did I dream of just being in a room by myself with only a bed and hours of countless uninterrupted sleep, absofreakinlutely. But when it comes down to it, would I have my life any other way? No. Call me crazy, but sickness or no sickness, I love my family.

Am I much happier now that we are all on the mend. YES. Am I hopeful that this poltergeist bitch of a sickness never enters my house again? YES. Will it probably make another round or two before winters end, yeah. So eat your veggies and rest up kids, because the flupocalypse is here and no one is safe.

Thankful

I was going to write a post this week that included the normal random jibber jabber such as how the hubbers and I are finally biting the bullet and hiring a contractor to fix up our little shack of love. (This blog may turn into home renovation central.)

Look at that sweet sweet old man ass. I should have known how much work this house needed just by looking at that guy’s pants…

Or how I decided to sleep and not watch the Golden Globes only to wake up and see snippets on the news and read all these twitter blasts and second guess my decision.

Here is Jodie Foster telling me I’m a bad person because I read Perez Hilton. Oh and **gasp** she’s gay. Or is she…

Or how Stealthy Jess (amazeballs blog right here) introduced me to the greatest lip balm/stain ever. I think it has changed my life, seriously.

Game Changer

But then I ended up taking off of work last Friday and attending a double funeral for my Great Aunt Tina and my Great Uncle Pat. Although they did not die together, it was in a span of 7 days almost as if one waited for the other. One death was kind of expected and one was completely surprising.

Aunt Tina had been ill for several years yet, Uncle Pat (my Grandmother’s brother) was stubborn, refusing to put her in an assisted living facility. It was his love, his wife of 63 years, he could never do that. Around the time of the holidays things took a turn for the worse and Tina was sent to the intensive care unit. Everyone held their breath and braced themselves expecting the end to come. In a way it was welcome, an end to her suffering. Yet, she held on.

A few days after Tina was in the hospital, Pat took a nasty fall fracturing his spine. In the hospital, doctors expected a full recovery but told Pat the road would be long. They told him he should make plans to relocate to an assisted living facility where he would go through rehab. After taking care of Tina for so long, Pat knew that was the last thing he wanted. One night not long after this diagnosis Pat had unexpected renal failure and passed. Several days later Tina’s breathing tubes were removed and three days later she passed.

Uncle Pat and Aunt Tina

My Dad’s side of the family is a stereotypical tight knit Italian family from South Philly. They get together a lot…cousins, second cousins, great aunts, the whole lot. At times one can find this to be a pain in the ass. Cramped in a small row home with a bunch of people talking over one another or giving up a Saturday to drive and hour and a half away (as some family members have relocated). I’ve never met another person who celebrates Palm Sunday…

Bringing sexy back circa 1996. BOOM!

Sitting there at the funeral I was just so overwhelmed and proud. Such a close family leaning on one another. In a way, it wasn’t such a terrible passing. There was reason to celebrate. They both lived long happy lives, had children and grandchildren. Stayed happily married for 63 years, which in this day and age is unheard of.

Either way it is always terribly sad to say goodbye. It was a somber moment watching their three sons saying farewell with a full Navy send off…trumpet player, uniforms, flag and all (Uncle Pat had served in the Navy).

I watched my grandmother sob as she buried another sibling and loved one. It was a tough day. Whenever I see my grandmother like that I lose it. She is the rock of our family and one of the strongest people I know. I am so lucky to be close with her.

The whole gang.

I have my own memories. Uncle Pat stealing the karaoke machine at the family Christmas party and singing ‘My Way’ the only way he can, wearing his bah humbug sweater. Aunt Tina always stealing a seat next to you, grabbing your hand and asking about what was going on in your life. They were both incredible people and I can only hope to have an equally long and happy life.

It’s so easy to get caught up in all the things that you want. Bigger house, better car, cray cray expensive shoes, a lifetime supply of Revlon lip stain (come on Revlon, I’m marketing my ass off here). It’s one thing to set goals and set your sights on something, a European vacation, a promotion, etc. It’s another to get caught up in the “these are all the things I DON’T have.” It’s so easy to compare yourself to all of your peers and all of their nice things (especially on the Internet). But really all that stuff is so trivial.

I’m guilty of it. My husband and I have been a bit down in the dumps, feeling like we work our asses off and our house, quite frankly, sucks. Due to the recession we’re stuck here and any money we put into the house we most likely won’t see back. But at the end of the day I have to remember that there are a lot of people out there who would tell me to just be happy I have a job and a roof over my head. And you know what, they’re right.

Standing outside at the cemetery on a cold rainy Friday in January I had so many thoughts run through my head. I need to be closer with my cousins. I need to spend a Saturday with my Grandmom. I need to call and make plans with all of my friends. I need to get out of the house and see people. I need to tell my parents how much I appreciate them. I need to hug my daughter and spend more time with her. But most of all I need to show my husband how much I appreciate him.

We both work so hard, trying to excel in our careers, trying to take time away from work and raise our daughter, trying to maintain a house and balance our budget, and in small windows of time, try to enjoy ourselves. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day routine, to almost just roll through the motions like a robot. To opt for sleep rather than catching up on how our day was.

I want my husband to know this: Yes, I will still continue to sigh loudly when you shave and your hair is all over the sink (ew), I will still continue to accidentally throw out bills and not know what we pay for cable. But know that I love you with all of my heart. Without you I would be lost. I may not always show it and for that I am truly sorry. But I hope you know that you have made me the happiest person alive and I hope to grow old and gray with you.

Hey boo.

So yeah, I just can’t seem to write about my normal inspirations today as they seem so small at the moment. Remember to tell those you love how much you care about them because they might not be here tomorrow. Remember to be happy for all that you have. Life is short y’all.

It’s Was The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Happy New Year!!!! I hope you all had a lovely holiday.

My favorite time of year is now officially over.  I love everything about the holidays.  Christmas lights, holiday cookies, buying gifts for loved ones, Christmas music (yes I started listening to it on Thanksgiving, whatevs), peppermint hot chocolate, Christmas trees, the list of holiday gloriousness goes on.

Things I do not enjoy– what  is left of this frigid winter.  Icy cold winds stabbing my fragile little face, numb hands, shaving only to be assaulted with goosebumps that pretty much regrow all of my leg hair in .5 seconds.

It is for this reason that I have never been on a pair of skis in my life (okay that and my lack of balance and coordination). Look, I’m all for having a hot tub time machine party in some log cabin in the mountains, but throwing me on a pair of sticks in the freezing cold and sending me colliding down a mountain will not end well. Have you met me? (Okay, most likely you haven’t.) I fall while standing still.  But in the new year I will be trying this feat and will keep you posted on how it turns out, if I survive.

Back to the holidays. There are tons of grumpy mcgrumpersons that I took note of this year.  The rest of the year I tend to not pay attention to the constant cynics but during the holiday season they really cramp my style. Maybe it’s because I’m running around like this…

Listen complainers, can it. I know for holiday celebrators (may it be Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Festivus, etc.) it can be stressful. But I think the overall message for the holidays is that it is a time to be happy for what you have and who you have in your life. Gifts don’t have to be expensive, it’s the thought that counts. Make some macaroni art dammit. I’m not even a religious person and I love this time of year. It’s a time to be kind and charitable to strangers, a time to reflect on how good you have it, and let’s face it… all those lights are pretty (weeeee shiny things!!). I know, haters gone hate, but keep it to yourself and let me and Buddy the Elf enjoy our annual party.

Here are some of the ways that I had an elfing good time wrapping up 2012 (and was way too busy to post to this blog, I sense a new years resolution…).

Food monocles, duh…

Picking out trees…. Baby A was not amused.

Our perdy tree

Avery attended the kids holiday party at my office.  She jumped right in and went to work.

Just another day at the office.

I actually had Pinterest success with cookie recipes.  Pinterest led me to this amazing blog, Under the Table and Dreaming by Stephanie Lynn.  You can find the post with the cookie recipes here.  AMAZING!!!! (and easy).

My coworkers enjoyed said cookies at our annual silly gift exchange.   I got all snazzed up in an amazingly sexy Christmas cat sweater and hat.  I received two mind blowing gifts… stick-able mustaches and a Rainbow Brite snuggie.  Tipsy photo shoots to follow.

My father’s side of the family hosts an annual Christmas party with all the bells and whistles.  It’s the one time of the year to get cousins, second cousins, great aunts, brothers, sisters, yada yada all under one roof.  My first cousins, siblings and I were able to snap a picture with our Grandmom and Santa.  And as is becoming regular routine, my daughter enjoyed being the center of attention.

I was able to entertain some small gatherings and bust out some holiday cocktails and place settings.  Oh la la.

Happy Girl

And my most favorite part of the holiday, spoiling my kid rotten.  She doesn’t quite get Christmas, but when she does I can’t even imagine how out of control I am going to be.

 

So I hope your holiday was amazing and I wish you all a happy healthy 2013!

 

 

I’m back betches

So I pretty much took a blogging hibernation through fall. But now I’m back. I know, you have all been crying yourselves to sleep missing me so…

Here is what has been happening in the world of J nine.

The year of weddings is slowly winding down. The last wedding of 2012 is in two weeks.  In this wedding I have the honor of being a bridesmaid, and folks it’s going to be a blowout.  A high school reunion of sorts with some of my closest HS friends.  I’m walking out to ODB’s ‘Got Your Money’ so you know I’m stoked.

The last few weddings have taken place in the city of brotherly love and have been really awesome. Davio’s, The Four Seasons… oh you fancy, HUH!

Avery had her first birthday. Given that 9 out of the 10 words that fly out of my daughter’s mouth are Elmo related, we went with an Elmo theme. Pinterest helped me with some fun projects and for a brief moment I felt truly domestic.

Speaking of Pinterest, we tried something new with our Pumpkins this year. It’s nice to actually try something from Pinterest and have it turn out as it looks in the photo, rather than a complete and utter fail, which is what normally happens. Maybe this had something to do with my husband actually executing this project but that’s neither here nor there. (I’m much more of a “big idea” person anyway.)

We also prepared for Hurricane Sandy, which left us with tons of food, no power and office closures… which meant I packed on about 15 pounds in the span of 4 days, truly something to be proud of. Halloween also helped in that aspect. Avery went out as Elmo (or Cee Lo Green).

Fall of 2012 was full of good memories, great company, milestones and lots and lots of food.

Did I mention food? If you couldn’t tell I gluttonously made my way through September, October and November. The Hubbers and I celebrated our four year anniversary with a romantic dinner at Amada. It was foodgasmic! Maybe not the best place for an intimate, romantic dinner given that the space is very small and it is a loud, crowded, popular restaurant. But the food was amazing. Jose Garces can do no wrong. I ate my way through the entire menu and had to be rolled out of the restaurant. Okay, not really, but I did leave slightly hunched over grabbing my stomach and wishing I had room for more food. I have a problem.

Our local co-op (which I am obsessed with) had a food truckathon event which was fun, although Avery was having none of the cold weather so the hubbers and I tried to scarf down some truck food as quickly as possible and then get our little diva indoors.

Other events was the lovely bachelorette party for my dear friend Jenny. It’s nice to have the opportunity to get spiffed up and not wear work clothes or yoga pants. I sported this hawt little number, which was a major score in the budget department. All hail H&M. We spent the evening drinking, dancing, gabbing, drinking and dancing until I eventually threw myself into a cab and sang “Hey Jealousy” with the driver all the way home. Gin Blossoms rule!

So now that winter is basically here, I realize that I am heading into the holiday season a few (okay more than a few) pounds heavier than planned. My gym bag has finally made it’s way back into my office, so I can sweat it to the oldies again on my lunch break. Hence, my new favorite app, Nike+ Running. 

I know I need to add other stuff into my workout routine, weights, sit-ups, blah blah blah. But for now, I just want to run until I get back into the swing of things. I ran three times last week, and I already know that I will only be able to run three times this week. My work schedule just isn’t allowing any more than that. But I think if I can fit 3-4 workouts during the week, maybe some yoga on the weekends and maybe less cookies I will be in okay shape come Christmas… we’ll see. Feel free to leave me comments of motivation, i.e. “Keep running porker”, it would be greatly appreciated.

So that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. What have y’all been up to?

Fall Into Monday

I am rocking a scarf today and I couldn’t be happier. As said in my previous post, I am a fall fanatic. The weather here in the City of Brotherly Love today is a nice crisp 72 degrees. I saw the forecast this morning and did a little happy dance as I picked out my outfit, which yes, included a scarf. Never mind that we’ll be back at 87 degrees by week’s end, I’m focused on the upcoming fall. It’s SO close, I can smell it.

Look at that glorious fall picture. How can this NOT be your favorite season!

One of the great things about fall is the return of television. In my younger years, I was always out and about and never really cared much about weeknights in front of the TV. I’m sure if you asked The Hubster he would be all like, “You liar! You loved TV and made me watch a bunch of dumb shit in college.”

But one could not commit to a nightly viewing schedule with an excuse to drink and party every night of the week, and sweet baby Jebus’ gift of DVR had not yet graced us with its presence. And let’s be honest, who had time to set up their VCR to tape their shows. I can’t believe I just said VCR. I am old.

Yes, I did own the entire collection of Dawson’s Creek, Sex and the City, Felicity and Roswell DVDs (ah, I feel less old), but that was so I could watch them at my leisure…you know hung over on a Sunday afternoon.

Now that my daughter passes out around 8pm, the Hubster and I look forward to a little time alone, you know, so we can get all sexy in our sweatpants and veg out on the couch with some quality programming. I know, so glamorous.

With the end of True Blood and Newsroom, so came the end of our glamorous weeknights. So what have we been up to with all of this free time, you ask? Playing naked twister?? Nah. More like eating dinner and then going to bed at 9:00. Super frisky.

And while I may be well rested, there is a yearning… a longing, to curl up on my couch with a blanket (and maybe some ice cream) and to have that beautiful flat screen show me the goods. Smutty books on my Kindle will only keep me entertained for so long (hello Ian Noble).

In anticipation of my long awaited lover (you know, fall programming), I’ve made a list of the upcoming shows that I watch faithfully and the new ones I am dying to check out. And I thought I would share them with you. Spoilers ahead…

The New Normal – premieres Thursday 9/11 @ 9:30 on NBC

The idea is that a gay couple in Beverly Hills, Bryan (Andrew Rannells) and David (Justin Bartha), want a baby. So they hire as their surrogate a sweet, struggling single mother, Goldie (Georgia King), who has a precocious preteen daughter (Bebe Wood) and a racist, hate-filled grandmother (Ellen Barkin). This show looks too good to be true. NeNe Leakes and Ellen Barkin on the same show, I’m sold. Aaaaand it’s banned by some stations in Utah. Count me in.

Revolution – premieres Monday 9/17 @ 10pm on NBC

15 years after a mysterious blackout, America has been transformed into an overgrown, feudal Middle earth where good but mostly powerless people struggle against evil warlords. It’s a cautionary tale for technology-obsessed 21st century Americans addicted to everything from smartphones to, well, appliance-generated ice. My inner Katniss is pumped for this show. Plus Bella’s Dad is along for the ride, what’s not to love.

How I Met Your Mother – premieres Monday 9/24 @8pm on CBS

I cannot wait for one of my favorite shows to return. This season we meet baby Erickson and word on the street is that Barney and Robin will be engaged (and possibly married). And then there’s Ted… I have a love/hate relationship with him. At times he can be funny and poignant, but most of the time he is a whiny bitch. Either way, this show is the perfect cure to a Monday.

The Mindy Project – premieres Tuesday 9/24 @ 9:30pm on FOX

I was able to catch the sneak peak of the pilot which revolves around Mindy, an OB/GYN, telling the story about how she grew up being obsessed with romantic comedies, and how she met and fell in love with Tom (Bill Hader). Tom dumped Mindy, then immediately married someone younger than she. Mindy is telling this story to a cop, because she gets arrested after getting wasted at Tom’s wedding (while there she makes an awesome speech) and riding her bike headfirst into a pool. This is about the first 10 minutes of the episode. It’s amazing!

Last Resort – premieres Thursday 9/27 @ 8pm on ABC

The Last Resort is about the renegade crew of a United Stated Navy bad ass submarine, the fictional USS Colorado, that defies an order to launch nuclear missiles towards Pakistan, a decision that costs the commanding officer his job when he refuses to follow out the orders without an explanation or official confirmation. When his second in command also questions the same orders, the vessel is fired upon without warning and the crew are left for dead. Realizing that they have been declared enemies of their own country, they set up camp on the fictional island of Sainte Marina, and declare themselves a sovereign nation with nuclear capability. At the same time, the crew must find a way to prove their innocence and find out who set them up so that they can return home to America. Two words: Scott. Speedman. Moving on…

Once Upon a Time – premieres Sunday 9/30 @ 8pm on ABC

I can’t wait for this show to return. Once Upon a Time centers on a woman with a troubled past, Emma Swan, who is drawn into a small town in Maine where the magic and mystery of Fairy Tales just may be real… Rumpelstiltskin steals the show!! Now that the magical cat is out of the bag I’m curious to see what direction the show is heading this season.

Revenge – premieres Sunday 9/30 @ 9pm on ABC

This show is bad ass. What will Emily’s next move be, is Victoria dead and will that stupid faux Amanda Clarke just disappear already?? We need some more Jack and Emily time and that baby will just get in the way. Such a scandalous treat, is it 9/30 yet?!?!

Dexter – premieres Sunday 9/30 at 9pm on Showtime

This season could make or break it for me, as we know Deb finally figures out who Dexter really is and I’m really curious how that all plays out. Where do they go from there? I’m still mourning the loss of Rita from like two seasons ago, even though everyone else on the planet hated her. Damn you Trinity!

Homeland – premieres Sunday 9/30 @ 10pm on Showtime

This was such a surprise show for me. I had never heard of it and one day while flipping through channels stumbled upon it and was hooked. I love me some Claire Danes and she gives an inspiring performance as the crazy genius CIA agent Carrie Mathison. I was on the edge of my seat all of Season 1 trying to guess who was on team good guy and who was about to blow shit up. Can’t wait for season 2!!!

Gossip Girl – premieres Monday 10/8 @ 9pm on CW

First off, let me just vent about the CW and their a-hole tendencies. How dare you withhold me my 16 year-old guilty girl pleasures until October. I need some Blair and Chuck in my life, STAT. I know I will be glued to the screen during the final season of this gem. It’s a shame it’s a short season, I’m wondering if they can neatly wrap everything up in only 10 episodes.

Arrow – premieres Wednesday 10/10 @ 8pm on CW

I was a little bummed when Secret Circle was cancelled, even when the CW kept Nikita, I mean really?!?! But it looks like the execs at CW have found a way to make it up to me. Arrow is based on the Green Arrow, a fictional superhero who appears in comic books published by DC comics. (Little factoid about moi, I used to collect X-men comic books and cards. Another factoid about moi, I was supercool in junior high and had lots of boyfriends).

The Vampire Diaries – premieres Thursday 10/11 @ 8pm on CW

By far my favorite show on television. Yes, I have the finale saved on my DVR. Yes, I’ve watched it about 10 times (and cried during each viewing). Yes, my husband thinks I’m an idiot. Yes, I can’t stop googling for spoilers. But can you blame me?! Elena is a Vampire, Klaus is possessing Tyler, Bonnie may actually have a storyline this year, and Jeremy still sees dead people. Maybe, just maybe, Elena will choose Damon. Ugh, I am salivating just thinking about the upcoming season, guess I’ll just have to continue stalking Ian Somerhalder on twitter to hold me over. Le sigh.

The Walking Dead – premieres Sunday 10/14 @ 9pm on AMC

Who knew AMC could have such a kick ass TV show. This show always leaves me biting my nails and cursing and screaming at the TV. Last season’s finale was no exception, I can’t believe they killed Shane and he was a zombie. Okay, maybe I can because I started peeping at the graphic novels. I just couldn’t help myself. And because of that peeping I know next season is going to be out of this world with the introduction of the graphic novel favored story line of Michonne and the prison.

What will you be watching this fall???

 

Allow me to reintroduce myself

My name is Jeannine.  Hi.

Ahhh the interwebz. It’s good to be back. Where have I been you ask… nowhere interesting. I just got caught up in the crazy that is my life. And now that things are winding down I have a few minutes to spew some words on this page.

Vacation was so much fun, but for some reason I feel like it has taken me weeks to get back into a groove. I guess I just had a hard time letting go of morning strolls on the boardwalk, chocolate covered pretzels, sand in my toes (an all up in Baby A’s diaper) and that evening summer breeze. Just writing this paragraph I long for another getaway. Summer is slowly disappearing but I’m okay with it because that means fall is right around the corner and anyone who knows me knows that I am obsessed with fall. I love the food, the fashion, the smell of the air, the leaves, Halloween, Thanksgiving. I just had a fallgasm thinking about it.

Queen of the boardwalk

I love anything in a mason jar

Four Loko is a hell of a drug

I am having too much fun. Fun overload.

But I digress. There are still a few more weeks of summer and I am going to enjoy every second of it. We have another wedding this weekend, and I am stoked for another night out. The wedding we went to a few weeks ago was magical. The site for this wedding completely fit this couple. It was beautiful. The ceremony was outside and wrapped up just before a storm hit. Patrons ran inside after the lovely couple had their first wedded kiss and we watched the storm from an open tent. It quickly passed leaving a rainbow in its midst. I tried to take a picture but my iPhone was not having it. Oh well…  As you can see from my previous sentence, I tend to get all sorts of sappy at weddings.  I love them.  I love love.  Something about two people pledging their love gets me all misty eyed. That and the free food, booze and music isn’t too shabby either.

Why don’t you pull up a seat and lemme catch you up on all the crazy because I know you are incredibly interested:

I recently developed a smoothie obsession, it’s a great way to start the day and sneak in those greens.

Tried a new nail polish. I haven’t strayed from OPI in years, but I have found a new love and her name is Essie.

Why hello there

Slurped on some snake bites. Which I have learned is half light beer, half Wood chuck cider. Mind blowing.

Took baby A to the aquarium. She tried to swim with the seals, pet sting rays and feed the sharks. This child has no fear and I am in trouble. Big time.

Developed an obsession with Will McAvoy and The Newsroom. So much so that I want to only read CNN and listen to NPR. Okay, not really, I still spent much of my afternoon on Pinterest and Perez Hilton and just read The Marriage Bargain (great book!). Will McAvoy would not approve.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy

Well hello there interwebbians. It’s another hazy soupy week here in the city of Brotherly love. What can a girl do to keep her sanity? Well she sure as shit can’t listen to the radio.  If she does, she runs a high risk of hearing Carly Rae Jepsen. If that happens she will be singing that god awful Call Me Maybe song for the next 48 hours, unless she can somehow manage to replace that song with Magic Dance and sing that until her brain melts.

Power of voodoo. Who Do? You do. Do what? Remind me of the babeeeeeeeeeeeee.

No seriously, what would you do if Labyrinth Bowie stole your baby? That sounds like the premise of an amazing Lifetime movie…

As you can see, my head is all sorts of cray at the moment. Serenity now, serenity NOW!

I am finally gearing up for a nice long summer vacation. I am so excited to be out of the office for a week and enjoy some family time at the beach. I’ve got my (super hawt) Mom suits all ready to be packed and a large bottle of wine. I’m all set.

No but seriously, I haven’t packed shit. All I know is that overnight trips take us about four hours to get our junk together. My husband is off of work this week and is making a serious play for stay at home Daddy. He has been busy cleaning, doing laundry, working on the house and shuttling Peanut to and from daycare.

Even though I’m in the office all week it has been like a mini vacation for me as well. I get to sleep in (making it to 6am is sleeping in, my how things have changed). So hopefully the hubster will master the packing duties and I can continue my week long responsibility free extravaganza.

Here are some other fun things that have happened since I last bothered you with an irrelevant non-nonsensical blog post. Hooray!

We took Baby A to the beach again. This girl is spoiled.

I went shopping and scored majorly at TJ Maxx. I am by no means a Maxxinista, but I am proud of this recent trip. I’ve been working hard, going to the gym, eating lots of plants and I felt that a reward was in order. I’ve still got a long way to go, but I snagged a couple of nice dresses for work that are snugger than most of my attire.  The one I’m wearing today makes me feel perdy. Which doesn’t happen much post baby and it certainly didn’t happen while I was pregnant.  So let’s just say ‘perdy’ days have been few and far between for the last two years.  (Which has been fairly obvious with all the compliments I’ve gotten at the office. I’m starting to realize that I was trying to start a troll couture trend that just never really took off).

Days like this feel like a national holiday where there should be parades, balloons and confetti. I feel so good in this dress that I went into the bathroom and did one of those dumbshit bathroom mirror pictures of myself, which is a major pet peeve of mine. But I really wanted to share.

Once I successfully took this picture without any of my coworkers walking in and mocking me mercilessly I went into a fierce sassy jig and was completely busted. Le sigh.

I can’t believe I am doing this. What do I do with my hands?  Act natural, act natural. Oh shit, is someone coming in.

Baby A was ridin dirty for the first time in a shopping cart. She said she wants a cart covered in pink flames with big spinning rims. I said, bitch please.

I have spent the last several days glued to CNN about the Colorado Theater Massacre. I like to keep things light on this blog. I prefer not to comment on this stuff as I don’t feel like a qualified source for this type of information and who really gives a f*** about my opinion.  But in this instance I feel compelled to comment.

All I can say is that my heart goes out to all of the victims and their families. I cannot even begin to imagine what you must be going through. Although I have not been directly impacted by this tragedy, I can say that I am on edge. As a mother, I want to lock my daughter up and never let her leave the house. People are just plain crazy anymore and it is impossible to feel safe. Anywhere. (Or have people always been crazy and in this day of real time broadcasting and over indulgence in social media, we just pay more attention to it???)

So Baby A may end up living a very sheltered life that leads to her own episode of hoarders in a trailer with 147 cats, but at least she will be safe.

That or she may end up as Bubble Girl. If Jakey Gyllenhaal can make it look cool (ok maybe he didn’t make it look cool) then Baby A will have no problem making friends while upholding her role as class president and prom queen.

Stay cool out there interwebz, the heat makes people crazzzzzyyyyyyy.

Not So Manic Monday

Happy Monday y’all. No for realz. It’s a beautiful day. I’ve shaken my grumpy pants off and have been enjoying life for a bit. How about you?

Again, I think the connection is more sleep and working out. It’s a no brainer, but at times impossible. The house is all caught up and things in our little home have been going well.  I have been trying to take this small burst of energy and organize things.

I made a meal plan (a whaaaat?!?!). Yes, a meal plan. I have planned every piece of food that is going to be jammed into my pie hole for the next week. And have brought every grocery needed. No excuses, I am committing. I even worked out this afternoon and must still be drifting on an endorphin high.

I’ve been keeping myself busy, even in this heat. We’ve been in the second heat wave of the summer. No joke, it’s swamp ass central over here.

Baby A and I have been trying to keep the temp down in this fashionable little pink pool.

The hubster and I braved the heat and were able to secure grandparents to watch the bebe so we could get a little grown up time in. We were able to catch our friend PremRock perform. If you are into hip hop, you have to check him out.

He is amazingly talented. It’s so refreshing to hear original heartfelt music. In the age of Katy Perry, LMFAO and Ke$ha, it’s a welcome change to my ears. Prem’s come a long way from our college years and I am fiercely proud. Seriously, give him a listen. I wouldn’t steer you wrong.

Other happy feel good things I did…

I saw Magic Mike. Enough said.

I attended an office happy hour where someone made pink lemonade jello shots in lemon rinds.

Baby A enjoyed blueberries.

I realize this was in my last post, but I don’t care. Look at how cute that girl is.

And represented the illadelph.

So stay cool interwebz and remember to slow down and enjoy this soupy summer.

Life.Is.Good.

Suck it Gil!

Yeah, I’m pretty crabby today. As you can see from my lack of presence on the interwebz things have been hectic. I know, what else is new. I’m just going to get on with it and vent and pretend that everyone cares a whole lot.

Do you ever feel your life just spiraling out of control and you just don’t care? We battled another illness with Baby A two weeks ago which cut our lovely beach trip short and amounted to the worst Father’s day ever (sorry love!). We had the grandparents all lined up as babysitters and were about to go check out the new Revel casino in Atlantic City when Baby A and I simultaneously got sick. She was up all night and I was down for the count. Thankfully Hubster stepped in and took the brunt of Baby A’s sickly frustrations. We cut bait and left early on Father’s day much to my parents dismay. Once home we just worked through it. I had to call out of work on Monday to give baby girl that extra love and care, which was tough as things were busy. Later that week as things were returning to some sense of normalcy, I still felt so exhausted and just couldn’t shake it.

Before shit got real

This past weekend the family was healthy and happy but my house was a disaster. Our bags were still packed from the previous weekend’s beach trip, laundry was piling up and so was dust on the furniture. I woke up and was dreading the prospect of wasting away my weekend with chores. So I said fuck it and took the family to the zoo.

My little monkey

Then followed up the next day with a delightful lazy Sunday. Now here we are. The house is still a mess, the bags are still packed, my winter clothes are still piled high on the guest bed, the summer clothes are still stashed away somewhere in the attic (it’s going to hit 94 degrees this week and I will be rocking a turtleneck) and I still do not care. I get home and not a minute is wasted until I can finally sit down and eat dinner around 9pm. I really don’t know how I am ever going to get things in order. I hate spending hours on the weekend trying to get things done when I can be spending time with my husband and daughter. I wish I could just hire someone to organize my life!

To further my misery, I have yet to pack my cat carrier of a gym bag and I have fallen off the healthy food wagon…hard. Mac and cheese and ice cream for dinner, bring it on. I feel slightly better since I finally made a trip to my beloved Trader Joe’s today and bought some healthy goodness for breakfast and lunch this week.  I am still in need of a serious mood makeover. I am just plain old cranky. I am normally a glass half full shiny optimist but lately I have been spending my morning and afternoon commute with my shades on resisting the urge to punch throats. I really just don’t know where to find the motivation or shake this mood in general.

Although spending time with Baby A does seem to help. I mean come on, look at that face. Oh and booze, booze helps a lot!

Someone loves blueberries

Getting so big!

Thank you all for letting me gripe to my heart’s delight. How do you guys get out of a funk?